When Love and Hate Collide
by witch-mistress-animaru
Summary: ET, sequel story of Everything You Want. Unexpected as it was, Eriol and Tomoyo ended up together...But he had to go and break her heart and end the dream...and if that wasn't enough, he just had to rub it in...again. 2: Letting Go.
1. Prologue: Broken

When Love and Hate Collide

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: First full-blown Tomoyo-Eriol fic I've ever attempted. Sequel to Everything You Want. If you liked the verbal sparring between these two in that fic, then this fic is for you.  This fic will run about the same length as Everything You Want. Hopefully this will end as quickly as the prequel.

Prologue: Broken

"_You cut me up and I keep, keep bleeding love."_

_- Leona Lewis, Bleeding Love_

_I can have another you in a minute_

_As a matter of fact, he'll be here in a moment_

_So don't you ever for a second get to thinking_

_You're irreplaceable_

_-Beyonce Knowles, Irreplaceable_

"_Give me this one moment to be irrational."_

_someone I know_

"How could you?" Tomoyo's voice was barely a whisper as she stared at her two-timing fiancé. She could not even summon the strength to lift a hand to slap him.

What was the term? Yeah—he was caught in the act. Caught red-handed. Whatever you wish to call it; point of the matter is that she saw him making out with another girl. And he did not even deny it.

She didn't know whether to be thankful or to just bash him in the head. Hard.

"Sorry you had to find out this way, babe," the jerk did not even try to look apologetic. It was as if she owed him this moment of truth and not the other way around.

Asshole. _Whatever did she see in this man?_ She thought with much chagrin.

The woman he was with had made her less-than-graceful exit a few minutes ago, her hair disheveled and her face rather red. Tomoyo had resisted the urge to pull the bitch's hair, and it was all she could do to keep her hands firmly at her sides.

"Sorry? Is that all you can say, you jerk?"

"What else do you want me to say?" He challenged. Why, the bastard even had the gall to talk to her that way!

"You think 'sorry' would cut it?" She asked, giving him another chance to make amends beyond such trite apologies.

Like maybe get down at her feet and grovel.

"Actually, I was expecting that sorry won't cut it," he replied casually.

"What did you say?"

"I didn't know how to cry off without disgracing you, so I wanted to give you reasons to desert me before the wedding."

Tomoyo froze, not believing her ears.

Then, suddenly, it all made sense. The cold shoulder. The unanswered phone calls and unreturned messages. The lame excuses for being late or not showing up at all.

It all boiled down to this? She fought a mad desire to laugh.

All the more, she did her best to ignore the faint stabs of pain at her heart.

To think she really, really loved this man—and he turned out to be a top-rate jerk.

At that moment, she thought of a thousand things she wanted to say to him.

But in the end, she realized that if she did as pride dictated her to do, she would only appear the sore loser. She would only look stupid and naïve and everything she didn't want to be anymore.

She would look betrayed and hurt and brokenhearted. And what was worse was that it would all be true.

But her pride would never allow her to let him see how badly wounded she was.

"If you didn't want us to get married, you should have said so," she said softly, her eyes staring at him accusingly. "I never asked you to marry me."

"Tomoyo—"

"Spare me the excuses." She replied quickly. She clenched her fists, trying to regain her composure. The engagement ring on her finger—an exquisite marquise-cut diamond she used to love for all its symbolism and whatnot—suddenly felt too heavy, too tight.

"There, you're free from our arrangement," she said, mustering up the courage to actually walk away from him.

"Tomoyo, please, don't be like that," he was wincing as if he was the one in pain. As if he was the one nursing a broken heart.

Nursing a broken ego, more like. How dare this oaf! What, did he expect her to fall to pieces, to get down on her knees and ask him to stay?

Not in a million years! Tomoyo Daidouji may be many things, not all of which are exactly good, but she was never a fool. She knew when to give up a fight and accept defeat—accept that it wasn't for her, after all.

And he was never hers to begin with. He was Sakura's first. He dated her first, approached her first.

She was nobody in his eyes then—and now, maybe nothing has changed. Maybe he still thought her silly and shallow and superficial. Maybe everything was for sport, for fun.

Knowing him, that can't be very far off the truth.

But she'll show him. If everything they've shared could mean so little, probably nothing to him…

…then it won't matter to her anymore as well.

As the tears threatened to fall, she turned her back on him and walked away.

_I'll show you. So I never mattered to you, huh? News flash, big guy. From now on, you won't matter to me anymore…_

"So," she said, stopping on her tracks. "I guess this is it, then, Eriol Hiiragizawa. I'll see you around."

Then she stalked off, knowing she can't hold off the tears for much longer.

--

_Trust Tomoyo to turn things around,_ Eriol thought, shaking his head. From what just transpired now, one would think she discarded him, and not the other way around.

But really, he can't complain on that. At least her pride was intact—she deserved as much. In fact, he'd say she deserved so much more. But what could he do? He didn't feel anything for her—except pity perhaps—and if he hardly thought she deserved to be shackled to a man who didn't love her.

He only thought about marrying her because he thought he'd learn to care for her, if he can't love her. He wasn't getting any younger, after all. Then he realized he loved his freedom too much to marry one woman and be content.

Well, thanks to her, it wasn't as hard as he thought it'd be. Tomoyo won't be Tomoyo if she didn't have her pride.

Yet the thought that he'd made Tomoyo cry settled in his mind. Never, in the seven months that he's been with her, in the more than two years that he's known her, did Eriol see her cry.

He was sure she'd weather it out; she always pulls through. But still, tears…

It was pride, he was sure. Her ego talked big and she cried because of it.

For he didn't believe for a moment that Tomoyo ever really loved him. Truly, she was a nice girl, but he can't imagine her feeling anything as tender as love toward anyone.

Well, except for Sakura. And even then, tenderness just doesn't suit Tomoyo. She was an Alpha female, someone too difficult to handle. She knew how to handle men.

And she handled this one quite beautifully, in his opinion. It just wasn't enough to keep him.

Still…he can't believe it was over. Just like that…it was…

It was too easy, he still couldn't fathom how he could've broken up with her without much tears and shouting and tantrums.

It's just…so mature, so simple. So unlike Tomoyo—the most complicated woman he's ever met. One moment she was sweet, bitchy and callous on the next. Unpredictable, but always feisty. That was her, Tomoyo.

And he imagined a thousand worst-case scenarios of this breakup. None of which came true.

Truth, he surmised, was indeed stranger than fiction.

Now the only question left is why he was so bothered by her less-than-dramatic reaction.

--

In truth, there have been lots of tears. Once she was driving away from Eriol's office, Tomoyo was bawling her eyes out.

Instinct told her to dial Sakura's number and share her heartache with her.

But Tomoyo beat herself to it. This was one pain she couldn't share with Sakura—with anyone, for that matter. For one, Sakura was their mutual friend…it would be childish to gain Sakura's side and see him suffer in her eyes. She knew that Eriol was very fond of Sakura, and so was her friend. No, she can't do it. No matter how much she wanted to lash back, she could never take his friendship with Sakura away.

This was their problem, and suddenly Tomoyo realized she wanted it to remain between them, sensible adults that they are. No need to alert Sakura or anything.

She can handle this, and by God, she will. She's doing well anyway, she thought.

She'd cry her heart out now…then she'd dry the tears afterward.

She'd clean up the mess later. Just, now…she hoped the world would allow her this moment of insanity, this mad moment of tears and pain.

Later, much later, when the tears won't come anymore—will they ever stop?—she'd go and pick up the pieces of herself, her shattered heart and soul.

For now, she's content with running away, with crying her pain away.

_It's over. Just like that. Oh God. It's all over. It hurts so much I can't breathe. I can't take it anymore God please make it stop please make the pain go away just stop it end it now…_

She didn't know how she got home. All she knew was that she did. And when she was in her bed, all the pain came crashing anew…

And it still hurts, it hurts so much…remembering him and all the times they shared…

TBC


	2. Chapter 1: A Bad Beginning

**When Love and Hate Collide**

**Witch-Mistress-Animaru**

**1: A bad beginning**

"_What can I do to make you love me?_

_What can I do to make you care?"_

_- The Corrs, What Can I Do_

"_I still believe in destiny_

_That you and I were meant to be."_

_- Hayden Pannetierre, I Still Believe_

_**When Tomoyo first met him…she knew she was attracted to him. And yet, she couldn't have him. For how could she?**_

_**Especially since it all started when she introduced him to Sakura…**_

Tomoyo wanted that night to be perfect. She wanted nothing more than for her best friend, Sakura, to find the happiness she has long been searching for.

And she believed that Sakura would find it in Li Syaoran. So there she was, devising a plan to get the two together for the night. It was the annual Fukkusei fashion show and Tomoyo wanted to make sure that the two were left alone.

Yet, it appears her efforts were rendered moot, she thought as she stared at the pair laughing their heads off at today's latest fashion modes.

Beside her she heard someone cough. She ignored it, focusing on the stage where synthetic mink collections were being modeled.

Then she heard a cough again, followed by a clearing of throat. She turned, seeing a man gazing intently at her.

Tomoyo's heart skipped a beat. The man was probably one of the handsomest she has met, if not the handsomest, with his azure eyes and hair.

She was so caught up in inspecting him that she didn't realize he was actually talking to her.

"Excuse me, miss. I heard you are the cousin of Miss Kinomoto, the famous writer. Is that right?"

Tomoyo found herself nodding.

"I'm Eriol Hiiragizawa," he held out an elegant hand. She very nearly did not take it from sheer shock. "I'm a huge fan of hers. I wonder if you can introduce us."

The moment his message sunk in, she felt disappointment welling inside her. She immediately felt guilty. Really, it was the first time a man introduced himself to her so that he can meet Sakura, so why was she feeling resentful towards her cousin who had not the slightest idea what was happening right now?

Before she could think better of it, Tomoyo started babbling.

"Oh. I'm Daidouji Tomoyo, as you already know. But...if you are...interested with my cousin, I fear you might be too late. See that guy?" She pointed at Syaoran. "He's angling for her affection and I must tell you—"

"Whoa, wait a minute, lady," he said quickly, holding up his hands. "First of all, I'm not...that is to say, romantically inclined to Miss Kinomoto. That remains to be seen. I just wish to be introduced. So if you're keeping a torch for that man—isn't that Li Syaoran, her publisher? That's interesting. Well, as I said, you need not worry. If she really likes that man, I have no wish to compete."

_But that's just the problem! Sakura's being too dense with him!_

"Oh." She said in a small voice. "I'm sorry to have said that. But if you must know, I really like that guy for her."

"I'm likeable enough, I assure you."

_But you aren't perfect for her!_

_And he's perfect for you? _A tiny little voice answered inside her brain.

"It's not the point. Anyway, it's okay, I'll introduce you after the show," she said, trying to appear nonchalant before turning away from the enigmatic man.

She didn't realize her heart was beating overly fast, or that she was suddenly resenting talking to him after knowing where Hiiragizawa Eriol's attentions lay.

---

"So," Eriol asked after the show ended amid tumultuous applause. "Where is your elusive cousin?"

Tomoyo had to admit she was beginning to get irritated.

"I'll introduce you, okay? So don't worry your bloated head over it."

"Excuse me?" He said, apparently taken aback by her rudeness.

"I said I'll introduce you. Happy?" She asked with her nose in the air.

"Not particularly." He scoffed a bit. "I did not do anything to deserve your rudeness. I merely asked to be introduced, and if you don't want to do it, I'm capable of introducing myself. If you'd only tell me where she is—"

"I said I'd introduce you and I will. But as I said, prospects of dating her would be quite bleak…"

"You're being presumptuous again. And I can't see how Miss Kinomoto is your cousin—she doesn't deserve a shrew like you for a friend."

"How dare you talk that way to me," she bristled. "And no, I wasn't being presumptuous. I was just warning you off, remove any false hopes."

"See? You're doing it again."

"Oh, whatever. Don't count on me on helping you with her, though."

"I don't need any."

"Fine." Tomoyo turned away from the suddenly irritating man. She can't believe she agreed to introduce him, the insufferable, arrogant jerk! Then she saw Sakura and Syaoran, heading towards them, the former gazing at her with disbelief.

Really, Tomoyo can hardly believe it herself. She was usually rational, cool, on top of things. But there was something about this man which rubbed her quite the wrong way.

Then Sakura's gaze fell on the man beside her and Tomoyo felt her heart drop upon seeing Sakura's face.

It didn't take a genius to see that Sakura was attracted to the man.

Tomoyo cleared her throat though she felt like crying for no reason at all.

"Er, Sakura-chan, I'd like you to meet Hiiragizawa Eriol. He professes he's a huge fan of yours. Hiiragizawa-kun, Kinomoto Sakura."

"How do you do?"

With the exchange that followed, Tomoyo and Syaoran soon became invisible in the eyes of the pair.

Syaoran took Tomoyo and Sakura home. When Sakura had gone, Tomoyo felt like comforting the man who, she knew, was head over heels in love with her best friend.

If truth be told, it looks like he doesn't stand a chance against Hiiragizawa Eriol. But Tomoyo was never one to back out of a challenge.

Besides, she was somewhat banking on the chance that Sakura was never attracted to Syaoran because she never saw him properly as a man. If she only would, she would not spare that blue-eyed devil a second glance.

The silence became almost unbearable and Tomoyo decided to speak out.

"Looks like you've got competition." Tomoyo commented.

"I know," Syaoran replied tersely. She could see his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel tightly.

"This one's tough," she admitted as much. "But I don't like him for Sakura, so you can expect my support."

"Thank you," he replied, but said no more.

Tomoyo badly wished he'd say something. For she refused to dwell on the disturbing feelings Hiiragizawa evoked on her—especially now that she could see that her best friend is interested in him.

---

Days passed quickly after that first meeting—the prospects looked bleak for Syaoran, but Tomoyo knew better. She felt something was amiss with Sakura's relationship with Hiiragizawa.

Though she must admit, she was getting a bit depressed with the setup as well.

"You can't give her up, you just can't," she knew that Syaoran knew she was saying that to cheer him up, but she did not care.

There has to be some way, she thought.

Then it came to her. Not wasting another moment, she dialed Hiiragizawa's number.

"Hello?" Her heart skipped as she heard the familiar voice. Clearing her throat, she responded with much more calm than she felt.

"Is this Hiiragizawa Eriol? Daidouji Tomoyo here."

Silence. For a moment, Tomoyo thought he'd be rude enough to drop the call, but then he responded.

"To what do I owe this pleasure, mademoiselle?" With the sarcasm lacing his voice, Tomoyo would have gladly throttled him for Syaoran.

Yet she swallowed her temper. She was desperate, what with Hiiragizawa steady dating Sakura and Syaoran hell-bent on martyrdom. Someone had to do something—she knew that her work was already cut out for her.

"It's about Sakura," she blurted out after a few seconds.

"Ah, yes, I figured as much."

She decided that the best way to go about it was to challenge him. Hiiragizawa appeared to her as a man who never backed down from a challenge.

"I can't let you win her, you know," she said softly, but the dare was there. "I bet your dates have been less than satisfactory," she was taking a gamble on that last note, she knew. But she did it anyway.

Once again she was met with silence. Did she hit the bull's eye?

But when he spoke again, she almost lost her hope. "That's for me to know and you to never find out," he said in an almost singsong voice. Yet, somehow…she could sense that he was lying. Perhaps she wasn't so far-off from the truth.

"We'll see," she huffed, dropping the call in irritation.

Now is the time to put some sense into Li Syaoran's brain.

"Li? Listen to me. I have a feeling they are still less than okay. Will you stop being such a martyr and do something about it?"

"They date constantly, Daidouji. She didn't ask me to rescue her. They're doing okay."

"Stupid reasoning and you know it." She said exasperatedly. "Listen to my plan," she said, going on to explain about her plans of a double date.

She didn't know why she was so determined to break the two off. But she was certain that Sakura didn't deserve that jerk.

---

After much coercion, Tomoyo had convinced Sakura that she was half in-love with Syaoran and somehow managed to make the latter agree to a double date.

She worked doubly hard to make her best friend jealous.

"Have some of the scallops, they're nice. Here, let me do it," she said to Syaoran, pouring the soup on the bowl beside him.

"Uh…yeah, thanks?" She kicked him under the table. If he was going to act like a drooling idiot, they might as well drop the act now.

He scowled at her but tried his best to act all sickeningly sweet afterward.

Her gaze strayed to their quarry and she could see a faint gleam of amusement in his eyes.

_So he thinks he knows what we're about, huh? _

She gazed at Sakura and was glad when she saw the look of pain in her eyes.

_Sorry I had to make you put up with this, Sakura-chan, but it's all for the best._

Hiiragizawa started to be a bit more aggressive at that point, but Sakura didn't even seem to notice. Tomoyo wanted to dance in glee.

As the dinner drew to an end, Tomoyo had managed to maneuver the situation so that she went home with Hiiragizawa, leaving her two friends some time to be alone.

"That desperate to get those two together, huh?" She barely settled in the front seat when he started driving like a maniac. She knew he was mad at her interference—the sarcasm in his voice was enough proof of that.

"I didn't really need to work all that hard. It was all cut out for me. You saw it, too—those two has something going on."

"I won't be so sure about that," he argued, but she could see that he was unnerved.

"It will work. I'm sure the two of them would be together soon enough. It has to work," she repeated. "I won't allow you to destroy my plans."

"Really? I think it's a moot point."

"Then you don't really know my cousin well."

"I doubt that she knows herself," he responded, albeit dryly.

"Ah, shut up, you're driving me mad!"

"Aren't you already?" At that point, the car slowed down and she was silently glad for it.

So she just huffed and resorted to dignified silence.

However, when her phone rang twice later that night, Tomoyo began to rethink the wisdom of her actions.

Did she bring the two together or drive them away from each other?

She was so immersed in her thoughts, she forgot who she was with that night, missing the look of amusement in his face as he gazed at her secretly.

Little did she know that soon enough, she would meet the disturbing Hiiragizawa Eriol, again…

…and this time, he would no longer be forbidden territory.

TBC


	3. Chapter 2: Letting Go

**When Love and Hate Collide**

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: I think I can do it. Just a bit more and I think I can.

This is a bit bitter. Thanks to Michelle Branch's _Breathe._ I can't wait for this fic to reach its climax. Ha-ha.

**2: Letting Go**

"_I remember what we used to say_

_When things won't tumble down_

_Now we're here and finally it changed_

_We're not standing on solid ground_

_I don't understand; when did we go wrong?_

_And I can't imagine…_

_Where will I be 365 days from now?"_

-Lutricia McNeal, 365 Days

_You say I've been driving you crazy_

_And it's keeping you away_

_And I give you just a little time_

_I wonder if you realize_

_I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes_

_If I just breathe_

_I'll know everything is alright_

_Everything is alright._

-Michelle Branch, Breathe

_Boy,_

_You only look like prince charming._

_-Girl_

(An anonymous letter posted on the website "Letters from the Crushed")

Tomoyo drove on for what seemed like hours, not knowing where to go and where she'd end up, if ever she wanted to go somewhere. Her body was numb, her heart a gaping hole in her chest. Their breakup still wrought havoc to her reeling senses. Her mind rejected the idea, and yet it ate up all space inside, until she thought of nothing but Eriol.

In the end, she had to go home. After all, life had to go on, with or without Eriol beside her.

_I need to do everything alone now. _ She can't even call Sakura and cry on her shoulder—she had to deal with it on her own…

_Breathe, Tomoyo. Why can't you breathe? Everything will be fine. Life goes on, right? You can't wallow in misery forever._

It happened so quickly. Seven months. And she thought that they'd have plenty of time to be together, to get to know each other thoroughly, but in the end, she doubted that she knew the real Eriol Hiiragizawa after all. He never really opened up to her…

"_What are you doing?" _she'd ask him. He'd reply with a shrug, a smile, or whatever and simply kiss her on the forehead without ever answering her question. She used to think it was sweet of him, but now she thought he was hiding away from her. He didn't want her to learn anything about him.

He was like that, she thought now. _From the start…_

_Driving around town is a pretty boring hobby, but Tomoyo loved the exhilaration of fast driving, of beating the red light, of anything that could thrill her. Sakura never approved of the way she drove her flashy car all over Tokyo, but then, Sakura was too busy getting back to Syaoran to join her, so there's no one to tell her off._

_This is what I've been missing, she thought. Lately, she'd been too busy with designing that she barely had time for herself._

_She wondered if she should drop by at Sakura's, but decided against it. She wouldn't risk intruding on her and Syaoran, if they've gotten together now. And she was pretty sure they were, too._

_So much for freedom, she thought gloomily. It was the only free time she's had in weeks, and here she was, nowhere to go, no one to spend it with. She wished she hadn't dumped *that* guy several weeks ago, but hey, how was she to know she'd end up this way today?_

_She hated to admit it, but the fun was wearing thin, driving around Tokyo without anywhere to go._

_Okay, five minutes. I'll drive some more and stop wherever I am after five minutes, she thought as she turned right on a corner she was sure she hasn't been on before._

_She ended up in a dingy little bar she didn't even know about before. After ordering a couple of drinks, she settled herself at the bar and observed the people around her._

_The bar wasn't even full. Some people just order a drink or two and then leave. Quite unlike the bars she used to frequent, she thought. Those bars were open all night long, with people partying until dawn. This…this was so much simpler, quieter even, yet interesting just the same._

_Her drinks arrived and she drank them leisurely, watching the bartender as he did his job._

_Soon, she was bored. Again. Until he came…_

Tomoyo shook out of her stupor, drying her tears furiously. She wasn't the sort of woman who'd sit by and wallow in misery because of some guy. Nothing would change anything, she knew. It's over and done for. She should really stop whining about it.

It's time to move on.

---

"You did what?" Sakura shrieked over the phone as Tomoyo calmly announced that she and Eriol broke up. "B-but you're engaged," she protested weakly.

She wasn't even sure who was at fault—she was certain neither was wont to tell anything. Knowing them both, it might be some petty quarrel and their pride got in the way of things. She can't imagine them wanting to cry off; they were perfect for each other.

"Not anymore. It wasn't really meant to be," Tomoyo said, a bit coldly that Sakura felt a bit chilled by her tone. _Was it really over?_

"But what about dinner later? It's our anniversary, and you're both my dearest friends. You must come."

"Of course I'm going to come," Tomoyo said indignantly. "It's not like we're teenagers or anything, you know. We can be civil to each other," she added firmly.

"But…but…are you sure this is for the best? Your decision, I mean. Honestly."

"You let me worry about my own problems," Tomoyo said stiffly.

"As if you'd let me do that when I was the one in trouble."

"I'm serious, Sakura," Tomoyo said, dropping the honorific to indicate she meant what she said. "Stay out of this one."

"Oh, Tomoyo-chan…"

"Don't you 'Tomoyo-chan' me," she said. "It's a closed book, and it's best if we don't linger in things we can't change."

"If you say so," somehow, Tomoyo's calm composure unnerved Sakura more than if she came bawling her eyes out to the party. Sensible just doesn't fit her emotional bombshell of a friend.

_She's hurting more than she let on, but I can't do anything about it._

"So," Tomoyo sounded so cheerful, but she thought she heard her voice crack. "I'll see you later, shall I?" Sakura replied almost mechanically, and then the call ended.

"Trouble, honey?" Syaoran's voice asked behind her.

"It's Eriol and Tomoyo…they've broken up." She whispered.

---

Tomoyo slammed the phone back to the receiver with more force than usual.

She didn't want to come, but she didn't want to be called a coward. She never backed down from any challenge. She'd just have to show him she had moved on, that he didn't mean a thing to her anymore.

Somehow, forgetting all about Eriol Hiiragizawa was easier said than done.

She clenched her fists in determination. She could do this. He'll see. He'll see.

---

Eriol did not want to come to Sakura and Syaoran's anniversary party. People they both knew were bound to notice, and there'd definitely be awkward questions he'd like to avoid.

But Sakura would never forgive him if he didn't come, so…they'd just have to weather it out. He would do his best to be civil about it. He just wasn't sure she'd do the same.

Now, here he is, looking all awkward standing outside the Lis' doorstep. Several times he raised his hand to knock, but he would lose all the nerve and just drop his hand.

The sudden opening of the door took him by surprise. Even more so when he saw who opened the door.

"I thought you'd be here," Tomoyo said coolly. "Come on in. Sakura's not planning to start without everyone present. You're the only one missing."

The cold demeanor took him aback. But then, perhaps it was better than synthetic civility.

At the very least, it's good that she wasn't throwing things at him or anything.

"Oh. Right," was the only thing he managed before he entered.

Silence fell inside as Tomoyo reentered the living room with Eriol in tow. Of course, everybody just learned that the two broke up, so it was awkward to see them together like this.

For what would you say to them? _We're sorry? Why? How?_

"Come on, what's the matter with you guys?" Tomoyo said in an unnaturally high-pitched voice. She sounded in control, but everyone including him, Eriol, knew, that Tomoyo was very close to breaking apart.

"Tomoyo…" Sakura said softly, smiling uncertainly. "Everyone… since we're all here, we might as well start."

A nervous chatter broke around them. It took all Eriol's gall to remain standing there with a smile on his face. He was sure now that Tomoyo hadn't told Sakura anything, since she wasn't slapping him in the face just yet. Still, he never felt so guilty. He only realized then what a big, humongous jerk he was.

Tomoyo seemed satisfied that people won't be staring at them and she took it as her cue to leave Eriol's side.

She seemed so composed, as opposed to his bungling self. He wondered how she did it.

And he wondered why he felt uneasy.

---

_So far, so good,_ Tomoyo thought, exhaling softly. She never thought she was made of such stern stuff. Her friends were too polite to ask what happened, but there were curious glances here and there, a sympathetic pat in the back…she endured them all. Once, Naoko Yanagisawa asked her if she was okay, and she thought she was going to cry. Instead she shrugged and smiled and told her she was doing fine.

Dinner was over. Now they were going to do a toast for Sakura and Syaoran. She thought she'd congratulate her best friend for her latest book, as well. After that, the party's going to break up soon. So she just needed to endure all this for about 20 minutes more, leave and then drop the tough girl act.

---

Tomoyo managed to last until after dinner, Eriol noted. She was all smiles, calm and composed. Yet her eyes remained oddly cold, her cheers falling a tad too phony in his ears. She even smiled at him once when their eyes met (although most of the time she pretended he didn't exist), causing him to feel like he'd been kicked in the gut.

He wanted to shake her so badly to stop acting like everything's perfect. He wanted her to hate him, to slap him in the face as she did back then. He didn't want her to be like this, a mechanical doll that smiled and nodded to the world like nothing was wrong in her world. Everybody could see that she was close to breaking down every now and then, and yet she went on like everything's fine.

The urge to rile her up, make her human again, was overwhelming. However, he didn't want to do it with so many people around—he knew it would humiliate her, her pride wouldn't take it so easily if she was to cry here and now.

Finally, only four of them—Sakura and her husband Syaoran, he and Tomoyo—were left. Sakura closed the door after seeing Takashi Yamazaki and his wife Chiharu off. Then, when she saw that Tomoyo was getting ready to leave, she crossed her arms and remained rooted in front of the door.

"Oh, no, Tomoyo Daidouji. You aren't going anywhere until you tell me what the hell's going on."

"What do you mean, what's going on?" Tomoyo replied, trying, and failing, to sound casual.

"This! You're acting like you're perfectly fine but we both know you aren't. Everyone knows it!"

"But I am all right!"

Eriol snorted. Tomoyo's eyes strayed on him, looking hurt and accusing.

God, he forgot just how beautiful those eyes were…and he also forgot that he was the one at fault.

"Now, both of you, we are going to settle it here. I won't let any of you leave until you tell me what really happened."

"Sweetheart, I don't think it's…" Syaoran said softly, convincing Sakura to end her meddling.

"No. They need to settle things now between them instead of pretending everything's a-okay between them! Civilized people be damned!"

"Butt out of it, Sakura," Tomoyo said softly. The phony smile left her face and her eyes glinted dangerously. But Sakura wasn't her best friend for nothing.

"No. Tell me."

"Why don't you ask Eriol there about it?" She said contemptuously. "Maybe he'd care to enlighten you."

Ah, there it was. She couldn't ignore his presence any longer, could she? That was better than pretending he didn't exist.

However, he could not admit it to his best friend that he messed up their relationship on purpose because he was losing interest.

"I think Tomoyo's right and you're nosing in on someone else's business."

Tomoyo was ignoring him again. She'd left the room and reemerged from the kitchen with her bag in tow.

"I'm leaving and you won't try to stop me if you know what's good for you, Li Sakura."

"I wouldn't dream stopping you, Tomoyo. But I did hear you correctly, didn't I? You said it's not like you're teenagers. You said you'd be civil to each other."

"Who exactly are we talking about here?" She retorted.

"Oh, so that's how it's going to be," Eriol could not restrain himself any longer. He didn't know why, but he was pissed. Big time.

"How dare you," Tomoyo snapped finally, lashing out at him. Now _that_ was more like the Tomoyo he knew.

"What? I never thought it would be such a big issue," he said nonchalantly. "You acted all cool and okay about it, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember too well you were making out with that nitwit," Sakura gasped at Tomoyo's words.

"You didn't, Eriol! How could you?"

He knew Sakura could very well hate him now, but he didn't care. He had his reasons. And he wasn't through provoking Tomoyo just yet.

"Nitwit, huh? You aren't jealous, are you? After all, we decided we're really over that day."

"You oaf!" Tomoyo shrieked, launching herself at him. "You—are—the—worst—jerk—I—had—the—misfortune—to—meet!" She just kept on punching him in the chest and he let her. Sakura was about to follow suit but Syaoran pulled her away firmly, shaking his head as he led her out of the living room.

"Had enough yet?" He asked softly when she stopped her attack and just stood before him, head bowed.

"I hate you," she whispered.

"I know," he whispered back, "and I'm sorry it turned out this way. I didn't want to hurt you, but there was no other way. It isn't your fault; it's just the way I am. Believe me; our marriage would have been over as soon as it started."

She smiled bitterly. "We'd never know now, will we? I have to go." She stepped away from him. "I have a lot of things in mind. I need time to cool things out."

"You take care," he said as she turned to leave.

"And…Eriol, I mean it this time. I don't think we can see each other again like this. I don't think I can be civil, after all."

"I know." He replied. "If it weren't for Sakura, I wouldn't have come. It hardly signifies, I think she hates me now that she has an idea of why we broke up."

His words brought fresh pain to her heart. _Sakura again… she's already married, but it seems you still hold her dear…_

"I'm going now. You take care."

"Tomoyo…I really am sorry."

"I know," she said softly. _And I hate you for not believing our marriage could have worked. I hate you for being such a coward. I hate you for hurting me so much when all I did was love you._

She couldn't take any more torture in such a short span of time. She strode out of the room and left.

---

Eriol could only stare at Tomoyo's retreating back. She was more hurt than she let on, he knew. And it was eating him up slowly.

"She left?" It was Li Syaoran, his old nemesis when he was still wooing Sakura.

"Yeah," he said softly. "I've been such a jerk."

"Aren't we all when it comes to love?" Syaoran said dryly.

He snorted, although he didn't feel like laughing. "Where's Sakura?" He asked abruptly, changing the subject before Syaoran's thoughts ran deeper than it already is.

"She's upstairs. She's terribly upset with the both of you, you know. But she's especially pissed with you."

"Color me surprised," he replied. He and Syaoran weren't exactly friends; with the kind of past relationship they had, Eriol supposed it wasn't easy to get close.

"Have some brandy, won't you?" Syaoran said after a while. He knew it was an offer to come and talk.

Perhaps this man wasn't so bad. They went off a bad start, but maybe they could be friends.

And just as well. There are some things only another man would understand. Sakura's a great friend, but she wasn't a man. And she'd definitely side with Tomoyo on this—not that he begrudged Tomoyo for Sakura's affection. She needs Sakura now more than he.

"Sure," he replied, rising to his feet. He needed that drink—not to mention the friendship—badly.

TBC

A/N: I love dramas. As long as it's not melodrama.


End file.
